BerlinIf you've lived in Berlin for any period of time, you'll probably have seen hyper-energetic singer Stephen Paul Taylor performing out on the streets or at the club. His video "Everybody Knows Sh*t's F*cked" is a huge hit on YouTube.
How are you coping with not being able to perform?
I'm gnashing my teeth and wailing into the sky. I wander around in my pyjamas and meticulously wash my hands to free them of all bacteria. I stare into the mirror at my gray face and wonder if I will ever look at an audience again. I've burned all of my stage clothes to keep myself warm because, without shows, I cannot afford heat in my apartment. I look at everyone with suspicion and see viruses everywhere I look. In short, I do not cope. I survive like a plane crash survivor in the Andes, looking for dead humans to eat in the snow. My best friend was my dog but I gave him away because pets can carry the virus and he hates wearing masks. So I am essentially alone... a skinny man scared of the cursed virus, staring into the void like T.S. Eliot in a windstorm.
What do you miss during the corona pandemic?
I miss making out with lots of people. I miss Berlin orgies. I miss catching a young woman's smile in the corner of my eye and not having the confidence to talk to her because I'm suffocated by fears and insecurities. I miss feeling human but then again, we've all essentially become cyborgs with our iPhones, iPads and Kindles. I miss looking at people's chins. I miss admiring well-kempt facial hair and wondering if I should buy a razor and coif my hair in the same way. Oh yeah, and I miss performing like a madman on stages all throughout Europe and staring at hot babes in the audience whilst their boyfriends give me evil glares.
What have you been working on creatively during lockdown?
Creatively? Who can be creative when we live in an atmosphere of fear and anxiety? Well, to be brutally honest, I have made a few songs that are as yet unreleased. I did a song in the summer that is all about how wonderful summertime is ("Surf's Up"). I mentioned nothing about the pandemic in the song. Why? Because I wanted to let everyone live in their imaginations and pretend like everything was o.k. I also started a podcast called "Stephen Speaks"
Editors note: The first episode drops Saturday.
Any recommendations on what do in Berlin during lockdown to fight boredom and stay sane?
Netflix. Candy bars. Excercise. Jog (with a mask). Do Zoom calls with your enemies. Read Agatha Christie. Start a hobby. Start a podcast. Prank call your exes. Send snail mail to Gen Z kids who don't read. Watch movies that make you cry. Do stop-motion animation. Buy a baby turtle and do a time-lapse photography project taking pictures of him/ her as they grow. Binge watch my YouTube channel.
What are you looking forward to most when the pandemic is over?
Dancing like mad in the streets while oncoming traffic is forced to stop and watch me while angrily wagging their fingers at me.